Tuesday 28 February 2012

13 steps in hindu marriage Hindu Indian Weddings indian couples in their wedding dress


HINDU INDIAN WEDDING

Hindu Indian marriages are performed by priests who chant Sanskrit hymns and mantras in front of the sacred fire, while special Indian wedding music - Shehnai in the North Indian weddings and Nadaswaram in the South Indian weddings - are played.

A typical Hindu Indian marriage begins with the selection of an auspicious day, and time to perform the wedding. A day before the wedding, the bride's palm and feet are decorated with henna or mehendi. The Indian wedding ceremony is conducted in a mandap, a special dias decorated with flowers for the occasion.

The Indian wedding procession of the groom, the Baraat, is a main event on the groom's side. The baraat headed by a display of fireworks, accompanied by the rhythm of the dholak or melam, reaches the meeting point, where the elders of both the families meet and welcome the groom with garlands and aarati.

After this the bride, decked with the finest of jewelry, and the groom sit in the mandap in front of the sacred fire, where the kanyadaan is performed. Kanyadaan is the ritual where the bride is given to the groom by her father, symbolizing giving of the bride to Vishnu. Next, the groom ties the knot. The ritual of pradakshina follows, where the bride and the groom walk seven times around the sacrificial fire. The last stage of the Indian marriage ceremony is the saptapadi, where the bride and the groom take seven steps together facing the north, after which the bride shifts to the groom's left. The couple is now declared married.

Hindu Wedding Rituals
13 Steps of a Vedic Marriage Ceremony
While various regional steps are followed by different sects of Hindus across India, the following 13 steps form the core of a Vedic wedding ceremony:

Vara Satkaarah - Reception of the bridegroom and his kinsmen at the entrance gate of the wedding hall where the officiating priest chants a few mantras and the bride's mother blesses the groom with rice and trefoil and applies tilak of vermilion and turmeric powder.
Madhuparka Ceremony - Reception of the bridegroom at the altar and bestowing of presents by the bride's father.
Kanya Dan - The bride's father gives away his daughter to the groom amidst the chanting of sacred mantras.
Vivah-Homa - The sacred fire ceremony ascertaining that all auspicious undertakings are begun in an atmosphere of purity and spirituality.
Pani-Grahan - The groom takes the right hand of the bride in his left hand and accepts her as his lawfully wedded wife.
Pratigna-Karan - The couple walk round the fire, the bride leading, and take solemn vows of loyalty, steadfast love and life-long fidelity to each other.
Shila Arohan- The mother of the bride assists her to step onto a stone slab and counsels her to prepare herself for a new life.
Laja-Homah - Puffed rice offered as oblations into the sacred fire by the bride while keeping the palms of her hands over those of the groom.
Parikrama or Pradakshina or Mangal Fera- The couple circles the sacred fire seven times. This aspect of the ceremony legalizes the marriage according to the Hindu Marriage Act as well custom.
Saptapadi - Marriage knot symbolized by tying one end of the groom's scarf with the bride's dress. Then they take seven steps representing nourishment, strength, prosperity, happiness, progeny, long life and harmony and understanding, respectively.
Abhishek - Sprinkling of water, meditating on the sun and the pole star.
Anna Praashan- The couple make food offerings into the fire then feed a morsel of food to each other expressing mutual love and affection.
Aashirvadah - Benediction by the elders.

A short Hindu wedding ceremony

Traditional Hindu wedding ceremonies can last for days and involve much ritual in Sanskrit which may be understood only by the priest conducting the service. This ceremony is considerably shorter and is intended to be understandable even to a non-Indian audience, making it suitable for intercultural or mixed Hindu/non-Hindu marriages. The couple for whom it was originally written based it on the Gujarati Brahmin traditions of the bride's family with a few touches from Unitarian and secular wedding services familiar to the groom's family. It includes three spots to insert optional readings and musical performances of your choosing.

The priest in this ceremony need not be formally trained as a Hindu priest. He or she should be familiar with Hindu weddings and comfortable acting as a master of ceremonies, guiding the participants through their parts and explaining the meaning of the service to the audience. It's okay if the priest keeps the script in hand during the ceremony.

Roles

Bride
Groom
Priest (who in this ceremony also serves as the MC)
Bride's parents
Groom's parents
Bride's maternal uncle (maamaa)
Bride's brother (or cousin or male friend)
Best man
Chorus: a few women who know how to sing traditional Indian slokas
Flower girls (optional)
Set

Hindu weddings are supposed to take place outside, on the earth, under a canopy known as a mandap. If that's not possible, you can build a mandap inside and pretend you're outdoors. Seating under the mandap can be on the ground (carpets or mats would be a good idea) or on chairs.

Front and center under the mandap is the sacred fire. The fire can be small and confined to a brazier or dish for safety.

The groom's party is supposed to arrive at the wedding spot in a procession, so it's good to have a convenient assembly location nearby.

Props

Coconut
Garlands to be exchanged by bride and groom
Rings to be exchanged by bride and groom
Wedding necklace (mangalsutra)
Gift from groom to bride's brother
Gift from bride's mother to groom
Sacred fire
Sacred rope (varamala), tied in a loop large enough to go easily around bride and groom
Pots of water for washing hands and feet
Kumkum or red paste applied to forehead
Rice
Flowers
Wardrobe

Traditionally, the bride wears a red or red and white sari. The sari should be draped modestly over her hair. The groom wears a kafni (long shirt extending to the knees) with pijamo (leggings) or dhoti (sort of an overgrown loincloth). The groom might also wear a turban.

Of course, in an adapted ceremony like this one great liberties can be taken with wardrobe. One rule which shouldn't be broken is that anyone who enters the mandap or wedding canopy must have on sandals or slip-on shoes which can be easily removed (no shoes in the mandap!). In addition, it's a good idea to avoid much black.

One feature of the bride's wardrobe which has become popular abroad is the use of henna or mehndi to decorate her hands and feet. It's said that you can tell how well a new bride is being treated by her in-laws from how long it takes for the mehndi to wear off. Mehndi treatments are increasingly available in salons or you can get mehndi mix at any Indian grocery store for a do-it-yourself job. (But be sure to practice on paper first! Mehndi doesn't wash off.)


Script
Groom's party assembles a few minutes before scheduled ceremony time at a convenient spot near ceremony location. (E.g., a neighbor's house or a parking lot around the corner.) Older members of the party may go on to the ceremony location to be seated. Groom is holding a coconut and bride's garland.
Groom's party walks in a procession to ceremony location. (For extra credit, groom rides on a horse or better yet an elephant!) Groom is received by bride's mother who applies kumkum to his forehead. Groom bows to bride's mother and gives her coconut.
Bride's parents escort groom and best man to the mandap. Groom's party is seated nearby.
After groom is in position in the mandap, bride comes out carrying groom's garland, escorted by maternal uncle, optionally preceded by flower girls.
Priest says:
We have come together to wed (bride), daughter of (bride's parents), to (groom), son of (groom's parents). Today they build together the foundation of their marriage upon the earth, in the presence of the sacred fire and the radiant sun, among their family and friends.
Bride and groom are seated facing one another under the mandap. Chorus sings the slokas:
Invocation to Lord Ganesha: Vignesh varaia varadaia sukhapriyaya...
Invocation to Saraswati: Yakundendutusharahara dhawala...
Prayer for harmony: Om sahana vavatu...
Bride garlands groom. Groom garlands bride.
Reading #1.
Bride's parents wash bride's and groom's hands and feet, apply kumkum and give flowers. (Bride's mother does this to bride, bride's father to groom.)
Bride's parents address audience:
I, (name), son/daughter of (grandparents' names), approve the wedding of my daughter, (bride's name), to (groom's name).
Groom says:
I, (groom's name), take you, (bride's name), into my heart as my wife.
Bride says:
I, (bride's name), take you, (groom's name), into my heart as my husband.
Priest says:
A circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth and the universe. It is a symbol of holiness and of perfection and of peace. In these rings it is the symbol of unity, in which your lives are now joined in one unbroken circle, in which, wherever you go, you will always return to one another and to your togetherness.
Bride and groom exchange rings.
Priest puts varamala (sacred rope) around bride's and groom's necks. They're now married!
The couple, who had been sitting facing one another, now sit down side by side. Bride's father puts bride's hand in groom's.
Song or musical performance. (Traditionally this is the time to sing a mangalashtak, a poem composed specially for the occasion.)
Bride cups her hands and places them in groom's cupped hands. Bride's brother puts rice in bride's hands. Together bride and groom pour the mixture into the fire.
Bride and groom walk around the fire four times, alternating in who leads. Priest says:
Om Svaha! With the first turn, we pray for happiness in the union of the couple. 
Om Svaha! With the second turn, we pray for the long life of the couple. 
Om Svaha! With the third turn, we pray for the healthy life of the couple. 
Om Svaha! With the fourth turn, we pray for the happiness and health of the couple.
The bride and groom sit down. (Here's a fun part: whoever sits down first will be the boss in the marriage!) Groom presents a gift to the bride's brother.
Priest says:
Now is the time to confirm the marriage with the seven final steps.
Bride and groom rise and prepare to take seven steps. Priest continues:
I ask you, (bride) and (groom), to concentrate upon these seven vows as you take the seven steps:
May the couple be blessed with an abundance of food.
May the couple be strong and complement one another.
May the couple be blessed with prosperity.
May the couple be eternally happy.
May the couple be blessed with children. 
Idea: one "blended family" we know of changed this to "May the couple be blessed with obedient children." :-)
May the couple live in perfect harmony.
May (bride) and (groom) always be the best of friends.
Optional step to shock the traditional Hindus: bride and groom steal a kiss!
Bride and groom feed each other sweets four times. Bride's mother gives groom a gift. Groom's mother comes to the mandap and puts the mangalsutra necklace around the bride's neck.
Reading #2.
Chorus sings the sloka:
Blessing for Everlasting Love: Advaitam...
...as bride and groom bow to all their seniors in both parties in rough order according to age (eldest first).
Adjourn to refreshments and photo ops. Mob scene ensues!


Post-Marriage Ceremonies
The marriage is not over, just because the main ceremony is over.

The bride and bridegroom go to their new home, and begin their new lives with the following ceremonies :

Grahapravesha - Entering the Home
The couple depart from the girl’s house after the vidai , for the groom’s house.

They carry behind the couple the sacred fire in a vessel. They should keep the re constantly alight.

When they reach his house, he says:

"Enter with your right foot. Do not remain outside."

The bride enters the home placing the right foot - considered auspicious, first.

When the bride and the groom enter the groom's house, the mother of the groom welcomes the bride by doing an aarati.

Talambra
In many South Indian marriages the rice mixed with the turmeric is poured over the heads of groom and bride by bride and groom. After this there are ceremonies of name calling singing and other games aimed at the bringing the bride and the groom closer.

Arundhati Darshan
Arundhathi Darshana is the showing of the Saptha Rishi Mandala and the small star Arundhathi underneath the star of Vashistha.

These seven sages and their families are the originators of the Vedic Lore of the Hindus. In memoriam of these great sages the seven stars in the Great Bear constellation are named after them.

The significance of this ritual is to remind the couple of the cosmic responsibilities they have to fulfill.

Darshan of these Great Sages is intended to remind the couple the heritage they have to carry and the debt to the sages they have to pay.

They sit in silence until the stars are visible.

Dhruva Darshan - Looking at the Polestar
After sunset he shows her the polar star, saying:

"You are firm and I see you. Be rm with me, O ourishing one! Brhaspati has given you to me, so live with me a hundred years bearing children by me, your husband."


imitation jewelry

Very Important If you are Purchasing Dimond Jewelry In diamonds, fakes are also forever

Go for imitation ones as real and fake stones are almost impossible to tell apart
"These days people are too fond of fashion jewellery instead of gold, I hear," a proud mother remarked while asking her daughter whether she was regularly wearing the ornaments she got in her wedding a few years ago.
The mother was shocked when the daughter said, "Mine has been mostly lying in the bank locker. I wore one of them at a marriage some time back."
The mother asked, "Which one did you wear, the diamonds which we gifted during your wedding?"
"Yeah, at least they are fashionable. But tell me how much had you paid for them? Rs 25,000 or something," the daughter asked.
But the mother got angry. "You kids don't know how to value anything. You need to add another digit to that number," she snapped.
This time it was the daughter's chance to be startled. "What! You paid lakhs for those! At the wedding people couldn't distinguish between the real diamonds that I wore and what the aunt who came down from US wore. She bought those fake diamonds after landing here. I went with her to shop and don't think they cost more than Rs 3,300. She got as many compliments as I got."
"Yes, but you don't understand that there is no resale value for that Rs 3,300 that she spent. I bought that other diamond pendant for Rs 25,000 to wear at your cousin's marriage few years before yours. I just revalued it. The jeweller told me he will pay Rs 25,000. So at least my money is coming back to me," the mother said.
"Ma, but he is paying you for the rise in the gold that is holding the diamond in the pendant. It was at Rs 4,000 per 10 gram when you bought the pendant, while today it is at Rs 18,000 plus. Which means the resale price of the diamonds hasn't gone up much."
Mother was silenced by the argument. "My jeweller told me that small diamonds have no resale value. And we can't afford the ones with high carats. So what's the point of buying real diamonds when the similar looking artificial variants can be owned in few thousands," the daughter went on.
This is not a debate in just this family alone. Many face a dilemma whether to go for fake or real diamonds.

It’s slated to be one of the biggest weddings in Mumbai this season. Well-known industrialist Champalal Vardhan’s eldest daughter Neelam will tie the knot with Tushar Parekh, who owns a KPO, on May 21. Ten different events comprising sangeet, mehendi, dinner parties, DJ nights, Bingo nights, mela party etc. have been organised as part of the pre-marriage celebrations. Out of these, the Bingo night that took place on Saturday and the mela party that takes place tonight are the most talked-about.

A source who attended the Bingo night says, “The prizes for the winners were high-end mobile phones, exotic holiday packages abroad and luxury cars.”

And tonight a portion of the Kamala Mills Compound in Lower Parel will be transformed into a live mela. Finally on May 21 — the wedding day — the venue Turf Club is expected to host about 5,000 people.

Champalal Vardhan says, “It’s an arranged marriage. I am happy that I have found a good son-in-law in Tushar. Attending the wedding will be the likes of Chhagan Bhujbal, Uddhav Thackeray, Vilasrao Deshmukh, Ashok Chavan, Sushil Kumar Shinde, Gurudas Kamat, Pradeep Jain, etc."


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